Givers Of Love.

Do any of you have that one friend (neighbor) you share little sweet surprises with?

Days, weeks, and sometimes a month or two will flow by and we see one another just enough for a wave.

Erica. 

During the big storm we endured of 2015-2016 she was the friend that left food on my porch every.single.morning before I left for City Of Hope.  

She never asked for acknowledgement.  She just left love.

Foot steps so quiet, to and from. 

During the holidays and colder months, for some reason or other, we leave socks for each other. 

Sometimes I'll cut flower sprigs and leave em on her porch, or she'll see something while out shopping (cute vase that says Tweet in honor of my birdies).

We just leave little things when we can.

(she's an amazing cook and appetizer maker, so I get samples)

 Her Carrot Cake is ballztothewallz. Woah. 

Kinda funny, because we have similar taste.  Simple and cozy. 

The other night she walked over with tacos as I watered.  

The next day I'd leave veggies from Kris' garden. 

Small tokens of love, but more the gesture than the offering itself.

She sent me this today and it made me really reflect on the relationship we've had for the past 15+ years.

Watching our children grow.  Watching them navigate the new driving phase.  Watching them go through new dating and heartbreak.  My long tales of heartbreak when Kali was leaving to college to later feel like I sounded like a weirdo. LOL.

It's true with girlfriends.  Neighbors.  Friends. 

The little gestures.

The things we get in one another.

Staring across the street at the lights on in the others home wondering if all is well.

Households hold so many pages.  

I'm lucky enough to share the memories with you Erica.

That street that divides us is all we have.

The rest is LOVE.  

We are the givers of LOVE.

And hopefully, peace.

Lots of peace.

Happy weekend friends. Nother' long week behind us!

Go spread love.  Compliments.  Kindness.  And peace.

Most of all, try to smile.  Even if you're feeling shattered in a million pieces.  Get up and get yourself together.  Take a shower, put on some good pretty lotion, some chapstick or gloss, and get that smile on.  Just try.

"Life is tough, but so are you"

Last weekend of June. Can you believe that?

Love,

Lisa Lynn

Technology

Something happened a couple of weekends ago. 

Father's Day Weekend to be exact. 

It was a Thursday night and Bill was at his dads, as I laid in bed on my ever-so-famous-I-Pad, doodling around like we all do...from Instagram, to Facebook, to some of my favorite blogger sites, etc.  When all of the sudden the Apple Logo popped up, my screen went black, and my whole iPad just shut down.  So, no biggy here, I turn it back on..and it says "Deactivation Mode" please enter your original Apple ID.  AND Password. 

Kris and Kali bought me the iPad back on Mother's Day in 2013.  It has been a most treasured gift. Not for the sake of social media, or the black hole I tend to sink down into when boredom, or cozy-after-work-laying-in-bed moments happen.  That iPad was my life.

You guys.....

I text Kali kinda laughing at first.  I text Kris, I basically went into a mini-meltdown in high hopes to remember the Apple ID ....

Kris set it up back in 2013 and the passwords he used, none of us can remember-

There are small moments for Kris where memory has been completely erased.

When he bought it for me, he went to the Apple Store, set it up, made an email, made an Apple ID and password.  Gonzo.  No recollection. 

All we DO know, is he did buy it in store. 

The next day, this went on all day.  

I was frantic.

That Friday (the day my doctor told me that my hair is falling out because of stress-LOL), Shelley came over, and we both called Apple and TRIED to navigate through their top-notch security, to which no-bueno, they cannot and will not help.  Somehow my Apple ID is lost in no-where land, and to make things even funnier...when Kali was in Italy, our phones linked.

Basically, until I can get Kris and I both into an Apple Store (I loathe stores like that, I double loathe the mall)-  

MY IPAD IS DEAD.

Here's the thing. 

Not only do you accumulate a history with something like this....but you build an archive of pictures. 

Of videos.  Of numerous notes I have from transplant. 

I have notes in there from our cancer journey that I need.

Did I back it up on the I-Cloud? No.

Am I that savvy with those types of things?  No. 

The journey of our City Of Hope and treatment is in there. 

The video of his actual life saving Stem Cells flowing into his body.....are in that thing.

And so there it sits.  On the floor.  Dead.

I have a backup from Bill. One he doesn't use often for business.  And so I still check emails, labs, orders, etc. 

BUT. IT'S. NOT.THE.SAME. 

We have a full weekend coming up again...and so I put off my quest to drag Kris to the Apple store so he can sway them to pry this thing open.  Somehow hack into it. 

Has this ever happened to you?

Another part of me thinks....

Did this happen for a reason?

Is something higher trying to tell me to let go.

To release the old pain.  The many pictures in a battle?

The emails I drafted to family with updates?

IS it time to just let it go?

My cute REAL wood case that I cannot find any longer?

Is it time to let go?

Anyway, thought I'd share this with you. 

Crazy how things happen. 

My week has been filled to the brim, yet again. 

Had dinner with the 6-pack last night.  One that was filled with good stories, lots of laughs, and more wine than we should have on a TUESDAY!  I love you guys!  So much! 

As I said to them all-  We've been friends for 20 years.  Sharing love.  Sharing heartbreak. Sharing loss. Sharing travel. Sharing good food.  Sharing moments that I am forever grateful for. 

Glad we gather...even if it's on a Tuesday!  LOVE!  (and yes we strolled in to a very empty Mother's Bar for some peanuts...because WHY NOT!?)  - Plus we ate next door.  LOL

I hope this midweek is finding you good. Peaceful.  Full of good food.  And mostly, a reminder to get out and enjoy summer. 

I have to remind myself often.  Get out.

And enjoy while we can.

Cheers!

This Mama Lisa

The Friday Light

Another long week coming to a close. 

And just like all of you, we forge through the things that help us survive.  We mesh things together to make a living.  We tolerate things and the moments we must pass through to pay bills.  Also to teach. 

Learn.

And heal.

So the weekend is here for those moments to reset. 

To step back for a moment.

OR....to step forward, and hang with those we love.  

For me, I make the time to cook quietly alone. 

Pondering all the things that make my future worthwhile.

I pray for our daughter whom is navigating changes in her heart. Working. Commuting. Co-living with roommates. Missing her boyfriend during the week, and dreaming back to the college days of "Taco Tuesday", and fun nights together with friends until the wee hours.

Not realizing that college comes to a close and adulting smacks ya quickly and abruptly on the cheeks.

She's always figured things out the right way.  Only now mama is standing back with sweet praise, and lots of "you can do this" vibes.  At times I know she feels lost. And frustrated.

Don't we all. 

I pray for my son and his health. I pray for his well-being and the life he deserves.  

I pray for my best friend and lover Bill to feel good, and pain free in his body and spirit. 

I laugh when I gather with friends whom join me on our dock and laugh until we can't laugh anymore...or we SOMEHOW end up in Mother's Tavern for "just one" which turns into more dancing and music.

We toss peanuts on the floor while forgetting the many little shadows of stress. 

Friday.

The weekend.

I hope it's good to you.

Just be kind.

"You can't pour from an empty cup, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST"

(As Shelley is nodding her head yes to me)

This Mama Lisa

ps.  Speaking of Shelley, look up the song Shelley "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers.

You're welcome.

And I love u. 

xo

Pondering With Age

I follow an account on Instagram called "CHEAPOLDHOUSES"-

Cheap Old Houses

You'll find a 2 story, 5 bedroom, Craftsman Style, wood floor, old Victorian vibe home in like NC for $85K.  

Some marked down to $65K.  Most nestled in strange places I've never heard of before, and yet the home, the yard, the surrounding visuals, captivate me.  They most always need lots and lots of work. So much work that the average person like myself, simply dream, stare, and move on. 

I read an article this morning about a guy whom purchased something similar to this.  

Living In An Old Sea Captains House

After scrolling through his pictures there are parts of me that can handle living with a soiled staircase, but then another part of me would want some paint on the walls and maybe some cleaned up wood floors. 

My only fear.....

Ghosts.

I am a believer of spirits.  I believe spirits linger. 

And so those fears would most likely inhibit a purchase like this....for me....

But.... 

A dreamer can dream.....

A dreamer should dream....

If only we were brave enough to do something like this. 

What's your thoughts on this?

Happy house hunting on that Instagram account...You're welcome!

Happy Summer Solstice!

This Mama Lisa

Bring it on Summatime!

Nose To The Ground

Often times Bill and I will sit together and reminisce about the moments that literally take all the hard moments away, and put perspective of just how good this life can be.  Sitting on this dock on Parker (Foxes) 4 years ago.  Together. 

The wind.

The sun.

The cool water passing by.

Away.

We can't get away as much as we would like.

Of course we can, but then we have the effect of picking up the pieces when we return.

And so we just keep workin.

Hard. 

And when I say hard, I mean every single waking hour. 

I was scrolling through pictures this morning in search of one for a customer. Of Kris' first car.

And these river pictures came up.

I can just smell the river. If  I close my eyes, I can imagine sitting there next to him eating super salty popcorn, a good stiff drink, and the sound of boats passing.

I can imagine our laughter while we just toss all the worries up into the air....

I always look back on dated pictures and think...oh my god, to think I didn't  know what the fuck was gonna hit us.  

This week has been weird.  

Hard. 

Busy. 

Weird. 

I didn't cook our meals last weekend, (such a sweet Father's Day we had with the kids though).  So we've been eating lunch by the shop (I hate Subway-ew-I hate fast food)  I packed Hummus today, 3 Cutie little tangerine things, some peanuts, and just lame things to get through. 

(my sweet dude brought me a Subway sandwich that had "I think" chicken that looked rubbery-sorry honey, I love you, I no likey Subway)

Back to cookin' this weekend. 

And then you see these pictures.

And it makes you work harder.

It makes you remember the good moments. 

The moments when a house was filled with friends.  The kids.  The kids' friends.  The dog.

The laughter.

The warm summer sun.

The cool pool.

The cold Corona's and super delish Martini's from Cha Bones-

All of it.

I came across this one of us at the YC.  4 years ago girls.  June of 2014.

Moments. 

Day-times, and night-times we can never get back.

And so we try to remind ourselves to look forward to good fun times. 

With friends.

And our birdies.

And just hoping and praying to have the health, and ability to some day step back just a little. 

I hope this midweek is treating you good.  I hope your perspective is looking for the good times again.

I hope you get to put your feet in cold water, and sip a good stiff cup-of-whatever-makes-you-happy.

And that you can chomp on some salty popcorn at Foxes.

Keep pushing kids.  Don't look back.  

Love,

This Mama Lisa

The Reset Button

I am the last one in the family to make any sort of appointment. For myself.

The only one I "torture" myself with, is a hair appointment. 

I loathe salons. 

Spending any of my precious time off in a salon chair is like washing a cat for me.

For the last couple of months I have been losing globs and globs of hair.  And when I say lots, I mean, ALOT.

Granted I was gifted with a massive amount of hair, and so those globs of hair are really not too noticeable.  For you.

But for me, it is. 

When I had Bill pick up my pony tail last week, he agreed.

The floors are lined with hair.  Our bed is filled with hair.  Yes, gross. And double EW when it gets in your toes. yuck.

It's e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.  

My hairdresser mentioned it to me last month, and again this month.  

So I made an appointment. 

For labs.  For a Lisa checkup. 

The outcome is what we all kinda suspected.  

Stress.

I will change my shampoo's, conditioners, and all hair products to organic and chemical free where and when I can. 

When I walked into my doctors office, and hugged my nurse (whom I love so much "Maria") I started to cry.  Not sure why the emotions ran so high, but I just felt overwhelmed. 

I am going to do everything I possibly can to let things go.

To get back to my yoga. 

To step back from things and places that give me stress (hello, can't leave work, but will try hard to ease my load, and delegate just a tad bit more...wish me luck!)

Friday morning I sat in my favorite juice bar.  Texting my littlest birdie.  

Praying.

Smiling at strangers.

Reminding myself, just how fast this life is. 

Losing lots of hair is one thing.  But the hypertension I suffer from must get in control.

It's all up to me. 

It's all up to me to filter the goodness from bullshit.

The kindness from the evil.

Maybe I need to step away and breathe often.

Put my phone away?

Delete emails?  LOL jk

Can't go bald kids.

Bald aannnnd a big nose?

Oh, no bueno.

To Shelley who came over and sat dockside with me in pure laughter, chats, good wine, good eats, and lots and lots of love. Gracias

Was intending on a Father's Day Blog post on Friday.  One for my dad, and one for the man that stepped into my life taking on 2 extra's.  But, really...you kinda all know.

He's rad.

My dad is too. 

Hope this week is good. 

Today we say our final farewells to Ricky (Bill's brother)- 

More emotions to fill the pot!

Love,

This Mama Lisa

Two Cakes

Wine. 

Red.

White.

Appetizers.

Shrimp Tacos.

Best friends.

Smiles.

Cheers.

And two adorable cakes. 

And lots and lots of laughter. 

And one incredible sunset. 

Happy Birthday Roxanne and Maria! 

Edie, thank you for opening your beach adobe to us.  For us.  With us.

Mama's of Seal Beach Summer 2018

Celebration Of Months

Happy TWO and a HALF years Kris!

You've climbed over some really slippery rocks.  

You've fallen down some very steep cliffs. 

And yet, you continue to get up every day, with a smile.

You are living this life to the fullest.

Even when a mama still nags like a rapper.

You push through.

I thank God for giving you this chance.

Even when most days are hard. 

You make the best of them.

I love you. 

Happy two-and-a-half baby!

This Mama Lisa

Beautiful Weekend To You.

Cheers to making it through another crazy long week!

Here's to yummy summer recipes, and lots of smiles and laughter with those you love.

Happy news for Craig and the whole Rapoza Family! 

Get back to your long walks with your beautiful bride and the doggo's. 

And in the water ridin' waves!

Booya! 

Kali and Grant's Graduation 2018 -Oceanside

 This day held so many emotions....so wild! 

Grant --- May 18, 2018--Riding waves with Dad. 

This Mama Lisa

Happy First Birthday Skipper

Also known as Dip-Dip, Dipper, and Dippy Boy....

He's more attached to Kris than any animal I've ever witnessed.  

If Kris isn't home he'll sleep next to his backpack, or any article of clothing that has his papa's scent.

He's a smart feller, with very telling eyes. 

When he's sleepy he becomes grumpy just like a toddler.  

He'll whine and bark at random things, just simply because he needs to sleep. 

He's a pack follower. "Pack", meaning right on the heels of Kris. lol

He's delicate and yet tough.

He's in Kris' life for a strong good reason. 

Same for all of us. Even though Bill and I make it very clear, we're not parenting anything at this point.  Those dogs are yours, so you find sitters. LOL.

But this love is a true, nonjudgmental, non biased, dog to human love.  And human to dog, deeper love. 

Happy Birthday Little Skipper! I hope that belly ache you woke with this morning goes away quick.

Chewing on your papa's green onions in the garden probably needs to come to a halt-

We love you little dude.

Happy Thursday!

xoxo

Grammie

Well Hello Tuesday, Almost Wednesday.

Hey friends.  Tuesday already?  

My Monday was a busy one that's for sure.

I crave balance so much, yet in reality, our life is so far from it.

We literally hit the ground running all week. 

I woke on Monday morning reminding myself to keep the most important things in front.

Love.

Life. 

Friendship.

What I do strive to be is a good human.  A good partner.  A good mama  A good boss.  A good friend. A good daughter. 

Isn't it true we just want to make everything better? 

This last month offered us so much love. And so much change. So much beauty (daughter graduating with kick ass honors).  A new job she's learning to balance.  This last month offered us sickness in family members we'd never expect would leave this earth.  This last month offered us news of yet another "family" member diagnosed with the same c word.  (Keep kicking ass Craig!- Grants daddy)

This last month offered us birthdays and moments away with best-friends.  Laughing in uber shuttle rides like two teenage girls.  (Shelley I will always be so grateful for your giving and helping heart-If you're in the southern California area and want to order the best breakfast casseroles in all the land, let me know.)

This last month offered imperfection in all things "LIFE".

This last month offered strong hugs standing in the kitchen holding onto my partner with all we have just feeling both hearts beating. 

This last month offered some really realllly long sleepless nights of tossing and turning, listening to the city fall asleep and then wake up. 

This last month offered smiles, and cheers to glasses clinking together.

I welcome June with big open arms.  My dads birthday is tomorrow.  A few other good friends will celebrate next week, along with my aunt Ronda. 

This month will hopefully bring happy times. Better health reviews.  Hugs that entail chuckles instead of silence. 

Good glasses of wine with those we love. 

I put this picture up of me because I like it (Sandra & Vicki does my nose look small).  And if you wonder why this chic lady is laced in Fatal Clothing, it's because this sweet feller has wrapped his car in Fatal.  So we were Nascar groupies Saturday morning.  God Bless America! 

Dylan Lupton

Happy June kids. 

Happy happy June. 

All my love,

Lisa Lynn

Hold LOVE the closest.

I hope you all have a beautiful weekend. 

It's been one wild week.

Thankful for so many things.  Yet, still question why bad things happen to good people.

And if you want to watch a good mama raising a good little boy, watch this video.

Project Freedom Ride

Love,

This Mama Lisa