Two Years Ago, You Snuck Away....

You didn't sneak away peacefully.  As a matter of fact, from what I hear from your son, it was quite traumatic.  Something I wish neither of my kids would ever have to witness. And just typing this, my eyes are filled with tears to know they had no choice.  You fought hard those last days in the hospital as each of your babies sat there holding your hand.  Rubbing your cheeks, talking to you.  Wishing and hoping you'd give a sign. A sign that you'd be okay and make it through. 

Again. 

That you'd sit up and ask for some ice cream.  Or smile because you knew your grandbabies that you loved so much were there.  

You left a legacy of what motherhood means to her children.  You were there for them, most especially during their adult years, and most definitely in your grandmother role years.  You loved those babies with all your heart.  Treating each of them with the most fairness and warmest form of love.  As a matter of fact, Shirley....I always admired and wished I had that kind of nurturing.  

You stood your ground when you had to.  

So many times I wondered if you really cared for me.  I always felt like a mother loves her son in a different way, and trying to appease you to like or love me would never fully come to complete fruition, but I hoped you knew how madly in love I am with him.  

You never loved to cook, which was the running joke of the family, but man you'd make a mean pot of Corn Beef Brisket, and the veggies always came out just perfect. Rolling your eyes at me when I praised you. 

That dressing you'd put together for all of us at gatherings, riddled with garlic,  will never be replaced.  

It just can't.

Ever. 

So many times I've felt you in your home.  Kind of feeling like you'd step into the kitchen top step and just smile at us.  

You had a cute style in clothing.  Eclectic and fun.  You'd mix-match the perfect combo.  Most always offering a compliment to me if I was dressed up.  

I know your babies miss you.  Just today as I walked into your sons office, at this desk. He caught the virus I had, with his red face....I wondered if he remembered what today is. 

If you ask him, he'll tell you the exact time you left. 

As a matter of fact, we hear songs, or sometimes come across Cazadores Tequila, and I can see his eyes well up with tears. 

You offered them a childhood that made hard working humans.  

You offered them laughter and good times. Gaylord misses you.  As a matter of fact, the last time I watched him drive off from the restaurant on Fathers Day with his care taker in your car....his dark brown eyes looked sad to me.  

Maybe it's just me.  The girl that is lucky enough to love your son. 

We miss you Shirley. 

I know your birdies do. 

I hope you are safe, peaceful and full of ice-cream...... 

To Ricky, Vicki, Billy, Joni and Sandra......

You are so lucky to have such a special mama. 

Hope your week is treating you all well.

Guess what?  Bill has my bug.  Or worm.  

Love, 

This Mama Lisa

Well That Was Poopy

I literally went from kicking my sandals in the air Friday morning, blogging like a skip-n-hop girlie, to a drive-like-a-maniac home so I wouldn't puke on the side of the road, by Friday evening. Two possible enemies rattled my head. In-N-Out, (for some reason the tomato looked odd at the time of my eating like a starved dog mode-yet never did I remove it because hello lazy don't want to rewash...blah blah blah) or second, I thought I was burping the wings from Taco Surf (that Bill, The Sicklers and myself mowed down Thursday night)

As I exited a side street almost home, (Katella for you local peeps) there wasn't a lane to pull over and I was freaking out with thoughts of puking on my lap. My compassion and thoughts of the many moments Kris was so incredibly nauseated, and yet..here I was hauling ass to get home. Breathe Lisa, Breathe.

I couldn't lug my bags and body in the house fast enough. I also couldn't untangle my fat ass bun on the top of my head which was so tangled in the 3 bands I use to balance and hold that shit up. Getting in and out of the shower with hopes that maybe it would help. Brushing my knots out was another feat. In almost tears from the pain and nausea I changed into my sexiest hole riddled sweats, my mama bird t-shirt, and favorite pillow, and crawled in bed. Bill texting me shortly after "honey at grocery store be home in 15"-

Soon he's home, hollering down the hall..."hooneey I'm home" LOL. What he is normally greeted with is a dressed Lisa, hair in place and my hand out waiting for a cocktail -KIDDING- but you get my drift. He stares at me with the first few of many grocery bags. One thing you all know about me, is I don't lay around. Much less let him haul everything in, AND put it all away. My stomach hurt and burned every 30 seconds or so.

Back to bed I went and stayed there until Sunday.

Not sure what the deal was/is...I still don't feel like myself, but went to docs today.  Either viral or bacterial.

My little triage of nurses were incredible! Bills compassion and willingness to tickle my arms, and massage the top of my head creating a huge bubble of knots. And dodging my bed to couch, couch to bed antics because I was miserable and yet he'd  just move over, and offer whatever you could. Honey, you're amazing...

Kali zipping out the door first thing Saturday morning on a mission to get fresh mint, and those white things that you drop in water that I can't figure out how to spell, and there's no "replacements" on my spell check.   They are fritzy and also have pain relief in it..AND made me burp. #awesome!
My other handsome birdie came barreling down the hallway shortly after "mama, I brought you a smoothie from Nektar!" (Which was a cold buster kind with ginger-ouch-but so sweet my lover birdie you are full of love)

Saturday grazed by like a warm summer boring bummer day.
Sunday proved a teeny bit better, but then all heck broke loose....or I mean shit.
Monday I laid in bed all day.

My birdies went to Kris' follow up appointment. An appointment proving he's right where he should be. Issues with knees continue to hurt him. He's completely off his Tacrolimus and Sirolimus. I sent Kali with a little list of questions. She'd ask, and then hit record on her phone...that little reporter girllll.  Holla out to technology baby!
He's gained a little,and most important he's gained a lot in the spirit department. (Hellllllo steroids)

I'm hopeful that whatever bug creeped in me from that tomato jk, or a worm....double jk...or the wings I ate like a dog...will hurry up and Getty-Out of my town.

Homie don't like to lay around.

And this rumbling tummy?

Shiz sucks!

Hope you all had a better weekend than this warrior Mama.

As Kris said...Mom, there's always more weekends...

Love and peace, and pardon wishes as I blog on le ipad.  Boom.

Lisa  

The Sweetest F Word

 

Friday.......

Today just happens to be my favorite day of the week...Mostly because I stare intently at the weekend with no plans tonight or tomorrow....therefore, you know my pillows, bed and Bill receive lots more cuddles....

I'm in no rush to go anywhere on Saturday mornings...I truly love the peace in it.

I plan to push myself more in the active department sometime after I get up.  Gotta push this tush....and paint that chair....

Don't know about you, but this week was brutal.  Nothing detailed, just shitty at times. It's almost like you cross the finish line on Friday as the clock strikes 5-o-clock. The full moon offered tension...tension and bad attitudes.  One of those attitudes was me.  I felt it twice this week walking into work.  Praying as I drive.  Listening to my favorite music, yet spiritually falling to pieces the minute I'd land at my desk.

Barking easy, and not taking bullshit rude people very easy.  I've always been challenged when it comes to the vibe people spread.  Rude to me?  Rude to you.  Trying hard to remind myself of what I've preached for years.  Be kind.

And yet, the full moon, the stress of the daily work duties, and lack of sleep.....

Boom.   

But enough of me....how about we look out at the horizon of the weekend. 

How about plans to make this bad dude for the 4th-

I have a few friends that would nail this.  Erica, Laura, Shelly and most certainly Cindy Dutton.

Or this?  

Mindi?  You'd totally nail this one.....

With hopes to sit near water.  Water in hand, splashed with lemon.  The view of the loves of my life.

Maybe a bike ride.... By the way, Gianni called me this morning....to hear his voice.  I miss you dude.

Guess I am overstaying my visit here on le' blog....running out of things to chit chat about...plus I need to get back to my focused world of fiberglass and loads and loads of paperwork- 

And to think, this is just the fresh start to the weekend-

Cross that finish line, and go spread some love. 

Or your legs.  Wait, what.

Not your legs, unless you're getting on a bike. duh. or.

Cheers!

Lisa

Middle Aged Mama

Lately I've had these moments where I stare at the mirror and notice life swaying in a motion so fast by me that it makes my heart ponder.  I see wrinkles and lines around my lips and eyes.  Freckles that adorn my arms.  Spots changing from once a tanned young adult to a middle aged woman.  A woman called Mom.  A woman that loves the Earth and sunshine. A woman that opens her eyes daily for her children.  A woman that struggles through heart break and work.  A woman that loves hard and yet tries to find the balance.  Of good times chasing the sunlight. 

I still walk around my house and stare intently at all the pictures.  I have many.  I stare at the looks of my babes in their young toddler hood.  Or middle school.  Or the first days of kindergarten.  I stare at the moments caught on the back of the boat, smiling back at me.  Through missing teeth.  Or the innocent stare of a teenager with a dash of sass in his eyes.  Catching him before he covered himself in tattoo's.  And so he'd style his hair with the highest mohawk.  An "eyes on me" Leo.  

A toddler look of Kali in preschool days, when she sucked her thumb and her little over bite was way beyond what I even cared to admit. Whatever made her happy.  And content.

I notice my shoulders hunched just a tad bit more while staring in the mirror.  Sometimes feeling pretty and sometimes not. Rechecking myself because sag is just sag.  And shits getting real.  The majority of me always made up with  "live this life, and don't be caught in that vanity-side vibe"

I look at the title of motherhood as one of the best and yet hardest jobs.  I see dust and at times cobwebs up high and I think of how long they'd laid there, or flew in the air on that light because life is moving so fast.  And I just can't slow the clock.  The days and nights rolling into months and months and years.  

The pictures that line my walls that always speak about love.  And Faith.  

Life is just flowing by. 

Many nights I leave work and think I just wanna go lay down and rest. Taking a breather from organizing. And controlling.  Numbers.  Phones. People. Life.

Where as before I had an agenda.  Soccer practice in far-a-way cities, to turn around and make dinner, check homework and collapse into bed doing it all over again the next day.

Now the days are mine.  

They've changed drastically.  My soul has been tattered.  But I'm not the only one.  I'm the soldier in line with the rest of you in this life.  But man.....do I feel change.  I see it.  

I notice parents driving home from work, with kids in the back seat.  Or as I drive by a park and see the hundreds of kids out practicing.  Life.  

The path and change happens. I just stare. That life. Those kiddo's.  It flies by.  Faster than they'll even know.

I continue to look for goodness.  For happiness. I look for the moments that I feel like sharing with others.  Because somedays I don't care to mingle.  Some days, I truly can't.  

Last night my son stopped by to pick up his med tray filled for yet another week. 

As he left, he hugged me tight.  Kissing me on the cheek.  I watched him hop back into his car, and I thought...woah. 

Life.

Walking back up my walkway to my porch.  Where I raised him. The very porch that would welcome him home after a night out of driving for the first time.  Or a daughter that came home from her first dance with her first boyfriend. That porch that would welcome us all home safely.  Home.

The safety net.  The feeling inside as I walked away from him and that kiss on my cheek. 

He's alive. Washing away those messy ugly thoughts.  That hug.  That kiss.  That love. My boy.

My kitchen still adorned with awards from their years of middle and high school.  I've managed to toss those dudes up as wall paper versus into books. 

So many things have changed. And yes, I'm still a mama hoarder.

The mind and body I never appreciated as a young adult.  A young mother.  Shadowed by my own mother.  And grandmother.  Innocently enough of them, yet promising myself I would never be.  Sometimes I catch 

glimpses of her.  Sometimes I catch a glimpse of my aging self and just stare for a second. 

My recent relationship with Jesus allowing me to let some things go, and just pray. 

Praying for my kids. For my son, who loves me so, and yet I will always love him more. 

The days are slipping away, and I am working hard to hold on.  To hold on with a lightly held grip of middle age.  Never losing sight of where I'm going, and how I got here. 

Excepting the fine lines and freckles of moments I'm able to enjoy in this life.

Always keeping myself in tune with the what if's.  You know the standard cliche' of middle aged, motherhood.  Of how precious and delicate life can be.  

To maybe let the side view of belly, and chin, and maybe just maybe grasping that we are beautiful creatures big and small.  

To appreciate motherhood, and middle age.  Trying hard to understand why grief and heartache plays a role. Always praying for those around me.  Hoping and wishing we never receive those ugly phone calls. 

To spread love and remind others just how delicate these days are.  

That friendships and people come into our lives for reason.  

To love your partner even more during the hard days because you can. To offer a smile to anyone willing to take that smile.  Middle age is showing me so many different parts of me.  

Letting go of all the "yes's" I've shared for years and years.  

Realizing that my new emerging self will hopefully be blessed with the next chapters filled with peace.  Good health.  Most especially my kids.  

To be lucky enough to watch them marry and have children some day.  Embracing my self even more. 

To share our story.  To share happiness, fine lines, wrinkles and freckles.  

To rock a baby, and wipe slobber from my cheeks from someone I am lucky enough to be part of. 

My daily thought as I wake each day will always be thankfulness.  Still walking through the path of fear, yet pushing my way out of the darkness.  

Middle age, and learning to move on.  With trust.  And family.  My birdies, and lover.  My animals and flowers.  My belly, fine line and wrinkles and freckles.

Wondering does peace become more instilled with age, or do you learn to live with it. 

Smiling at the precious pictures I see in homes, on social media...even the ones that look staged. Or the perfectly inperfect ones.  Going with the flow, of what life is suppose to show me. 

Lucky enough to watch the sun peak on the horizon at me, and lucky enough to watch it slip out of sight....

Happy Wine Wednesday.....or Water.  Whichever rocks your boat.  

Just don't give up.  

Love to you,

This Mama Middle Aged Fine Lined And Wrinkled-

Be kind to animals.  Don't be a dick.

No Plans Are The Best Plans-

Bill and I walked into last week like a "let's not hold plans" type-of-a-way...Although I knew Fathers Day was peeking around the corner at us, I used my "casual" skills, and decided....let the kids handle it.  After all, I've always dwelled on things being perfect. Lately, I've determined a couple of things.  One, trying to control things and life can sometimes bite my ass.  The other, my stress level has been so high for months and months...causing my body and mind to slow down. I can't take on anymore.  I've decided to shut some things down.  Saying "no" and..."maybe next time"....a tad bit more.  At least right now. 

My goal last week was to get my dads gift on that UPS truck, and idle my way through the week showering Bill with the love he deserves as a dad that took me as 3.  Even if it meant a simple night in, with no plans.
Our favorite type of plans.

Saturday morning Bill and I woke to bright sunshine.  A day I knew would be filled with some sort of fun.  After tucking ourselves away early Friday night with a simple bbq dinner, and one glass of vino.  One. Woah.

My goal was to repaint a rocking chair I bought for 4 bucks at a yard sale one early morning before a soccer game.

Bill had been reminding me each time I "mentioned" painting it.  He'd want to strip it, sand it, re-arrange all the wood....blah blah blah.  And because he's so methodical  (love that part of him.....)

He took that whole thing apart.  Sanded it.  Put all new screws in.  And aligned it.  While he did that, I cleaned out the freezer...losing my painter mode mojo in the mix.  

Next weekend kids, next weekend.  We hope.  #stickwithoneglassgirl

We'd decide to take a ride down to Woody's to arrange Fathers Day breakfast for Gaylord (Sunday). Party of 15--

Shelly and John joining us mid-way at Mother's....and down to the new gig on the sand.  "Sea Legs"-

First time I've ever sipped wine on the board walk. 

They've got some ironing out to do.  The typical new restaurant bar story.  Confusion.  Lost orders.  Receipts flying in the air....hot little servers bumping into each other confused.  Lots of offers to "get you anything else"- Yet, that anything else, lost in the wind. Forgetting quickly what they just offered. LOL

The new gig in town.  Ladies, and Gents...you've been warned.

But first, let's take a second to praise John for riding with us.  You see, John doesn't drink le'alcohol like we do.  Therefore, our normal bike rides that consist of stopping at every bar on every corner doesn't work for this work-out smart healthy nut.  But.........BUT.....his good wisdom, and clean eating saved us all. 

No bars.  

Straight up windy ride back.

Sitting on our dock. 

Catching up quickly....

And off they went. 

John......thank you, you wise man.  Thank you. I love your stories of camping, and river rafting with your boy. 

And Shell, you always have my heart because you would stop at bars with me.  But we are smart fellers and we didn't stop at bars.  We sat on the dock instead and saved our livers. 

And wallets.  

Because...raise your hand if you'd rather sit on the dock of the bay, and sip yo' own wine.  "HANDS RAISED"

Before you know it, we'd be showered, changed and up the street for dinner...

And no I didn't dip into chocolate.  That right there friends is a direct result of sitting on the dock just a tad too long. 
Freak.  You guys. What the heck?

Fathers Day was a tad bit sweeter.  Gathering at Woody's up the street.  This picture is missing Vicki and Rick.  Vicki sitting next to me, Kris, Kali and Jen.  

Caught with a phone.  But I just love it. 

Gaylord's in the HOUSE!

L.O.V.E.

The weekend was filled with love.  Filled with gratitude, and hugs.  Filled with a dad being honored for the willingness to love us all.  To Gaylord whom is now 89.  Leaving the safety net of home to eat out with your kids.  

Over the weekend I had a few moments of "wow, catch this memory and hold it close"-

Time slips away. Before you know it, life hands you a desk.  Work place.  Paper work and massive phone calls.  It hands you traffic, and bills.
And heart break.
Like yesterday when Bill received a phone call while standing at my desk from his sister as she wept into the phone. The color of his face turning white.  Bandit her fur baby of almost 10 years (I think) was hit by a car.  Sending him to doggy heaven in a split second.  I could hear her weep. My heart melting, and pounding.
 

Gone.  Just like that.  Gone.

Weeping for her and with her. 

Watching tears well up in her brothers eyes, because getting that phone call yesterday morning is a well known fact that she of all people doesn't deserve this. Not Bandit. 

Showing us just how life rolls out.  

One phone call.

One slice of love. 

Taken. 

And so you look back in the memory rear view mirror...and you try so hard to soak up the goodness.  But you get that anxious oh my goodness shock of just how quick life can change. I will forever be convinced that there are no words to ease the pain of sorrow.  Ever.

Vicki, there are no words.  There are no ways to console you. Bandit loved you with every ounce of his cute soul.  You are a good mama.  They always talk about the animal rainbow bridge, along with "oh you'll see him again"-  I truly don't think there is anything we can do to mend this heartbreak. Not this time. 

I will cry with you.  For a very long time.  
I have a beautiful picture of you two....I'll wait to share another day...

PAW PRINTS ON YOUR HEART-

He came into your heart one day, so beautiful and smart.

A dear and sweet companion,

You loved him from the start.

And though you knew the time would come, 

When you would have to part,

He'll never be forgotten,

He left paw prints on your heart-

Bandit.  He was a lucky little lover. 

Toots and all. 

Love to you all, and wishing for a peaceful week.  Full moon bites.  

Vicki, my love and hugs to you today.  And tomorrow. And forever as long as you need em. 

Sorrow is a twisted deal.

Pour out as much love that you possibly can...even when the moon is beaming full of hard frustrating energy. Keep smiling. Through the tears.  And remember smile at a stranger.  For you never know what they're going through.  I do know this life is hard.  And full of sadness.  One smile kids. One.

This Mama Lisa

ps:  Kris is doing great- Having some issues with his knee's this morning determined to be caused by Tacrulimus levels. Decreasing two starting tonight... The pain was horrible-

Hope Heals

 Our first best week, in months and months.  My heart becomes fuller and fuller each day.  Each morning as we talk. Or text.  And I can see his body being filled with health.  Sadness, pain and a sick weak body growing and evolving. Never taking one day for granted. Taste buds touching food, and making a human feel like a human.  Hands that aren't as shaky as they've been for months and months.  He has a long way to go, but there's so much hope and love blossoming.  

Amidst fear, and tribulations, it is good to remember that there is still hope and love. Faith always triumphs in the end.

The human spirit is a tough animal.  Never one to give in.  

Because of her, he's willing, and pushing.  

Love always wins.  Even when the weight of the world tries to pull you down.

Through all the tears, and long unconditional hugs.  

They still remain strong.  I'm so glad they have each-other.

Love wins.

Wishes to you all for a peaceful weekend.  Filled with good food, and cold breezes....where-ever you may find them.

Happy Father's Day to you Daddy's out there....

HUGS!

This Mama Lisa

Counting All Blessings

Our little tradition of meeting for Wine Wednesday at the LBYC is now in full force.  I missed it last week for my over packing mania for Cabo wabo.  Last night we'd be lucky enough to gather around that big ol' table and smile down at our college kiddo's.  The standard eye roll as I asked them to gather for a picture.  Of course they're not at that sentimental stage in life, where they really don't know how awesome these pictures are to look back on one day.  Gathered because of friendships and love.  Sunsets, good wine, and hugs.

Smiling across the table at eachother because life just seems a little sweeter. 

Summer 2016

 I'm sorry I didn't catch the bestest shot of my littlest birdie....but here they are-  with Kevin sporting his Cal Poly shirt because yesterday was the last day of high school for him.  Soon he'll embrace the changes in seasons and college.  Maria, you've done well mama.  You've done well.  Shit, we all have. 

Cheers to good kiddo's.  We miss you Roxanne.  Hope you're staying well in India, kicking ass like you do.  

Don't worry we've got your baby covered here.  Sidney, Kaitlyn, Madison, Kali, Cullen, Bianca, Kevin, and Darren.....you make us proud. Just missing Mac Dut!  Never look back you guys....keep pushing. And never stop. 

Meanwhile our other birdie was enjoying a night at the Angels game.  Where he was hit by a foul ball.

I thank God he's able to move on in life and enjoy this.  That foul ball just an Angel from heaven tapping him with reminders that "Every little thing is gonna be alright"-

And so, this is summer time. Hopefully the road is paved a tad bit smoother.  

So far, it looks like they're having fun!

Happy Thursday......

I wish you all a peaceful day, as we introduce our favorite day Friday into our lives tomorrow....

Hot weekend planned, make sure to keep your animals cool.  Love them, like they love you.

Lots of love,

This Mama Lisa

Digging Through Stacks.

For the last couple of months I've fallen guilty to major scramble brain.  There are days where I clear my desk, organize each stack neatly, arrange it to the other side and move on.  While other days I rummage neatly through my payable folder like a detailed librarian.  And then you have days where making my coffee and getting out the door is a win win situation for all.

Then you add another week of hospital stay, and vacation mind mode (where you kinda lose your mind before a trip and think you need that extra little bathing suit cover up and frantically think you need extra little bottles of anti-frizz hair spray, and travel size silly things, and you're a frugal mo-fo and buying high class in a hurry isn't your gig, so you're even more frantic HAHAHA) When in reality you are going for 2 full days, and just need a bathing suit.  And because of the wind....good tight black hair bands.  But I had a tiny can of hairspray for frizz. LOL!  

And red lipstick.  

I worked that red lipstick like a hooker.  When in doubt, put on heels and red lipstick.  haha-

Kidding. 

Well, not really, but I kinda chuckle at myself as I process through those days.  I'm far from the sexy type, dangit.

More like a stick-figure.

We had such a fun trip.  All the pictures are scattered between gadgets we carried.  

Today I worked extra hard on organizing my life here at work.  A place that is a second home to me.  A place that although hard to get to some days because of ....depression...and only God knows what I go through...it's a place that I have worked endless hours to sell fiberglass parts.  I deal with folks around the world.  I deal with employees, and they deal with me. Imagine their faces as I try to talk and not cry.  Awk.

Today I kind of feel like I'm beginning to grab the bull by the horns.  

Yesterday at our doctors appointment, it was clear that Kris is on his way to better.  He's suffering from GVHD in his mouth.  Some med changes, and blood work for his next visit. (They want to check levels of Philadelphia Chromosome) But as always, she's so happy on his outcome.  How far he's come.  She always hugs him tight.  Hugging me, and kissing my cheeks like an auntie would. LOVE-

Mentioning about maybe him getting back to work.  She's in no rush for him but offering if he's ready.  She also said he should take as much time, because he has the rest of his life to work. Adjusting his med sheet some more. 2 meds away, yet adding two more.  We always stare intently at the screen as I request to see counts.  I've mastered these pages at Kaiser.  I jot notes down like a reporter. I correct the doctor as I see necessary.  Kris quietly sitting on his phone figuring "mom's got it"- 

He's still a skinny boy.  But great counts.  His demeanor nervous, but content.  You have your mama and sister there for the field trip.  These appointments starting to feel more like a beginning to the end.  

We all left there yesterday "hangry"-  Jumping back on the freeway at 3, with completely empty bellies.  A brother and sister that were on the verge of grabbing each other in a wrestling move.  He wanted Fatburger.  She wanted a salad.  He wanted something quick.  She wanted to sit, and enjoy. 

I wanted no traffic, food and both of them out of my car, and freed from my eyes.  jk

Life is moving along finally. 

Work.

Hopeful for good health. 

For love to keep pushing me through. 

To try and lean away from the grief, and sadness.  To look for better days, filled with sunshine and laughter. 

Like our little quick weekend away.  

I'm learning to look out at the life we've worked so hard to enjoy.  To trust God. 

To perhaps steer away from the support groups I belong to, because lately I seem to become more frightened by the "what if's". 

I still cry every single day, and yet I try to not.  The kids laugh at me, and yet I try to laugh at myself too.  

The best medicine is to set your eyes on good times.  To look around and remind yourself what hard work deserves.  

 

The love of my life.....June 2016

 

Tomorrow is Kyoko and Erica's Birthday!  My wish to you both, is love, laughter and good food!

Happy Tuesday friends.....

Spread Kindness,

This Mama Lisa

Back To Reality, Filled With Love-

I bought two souvenirs in Cabo.  One, a wood Rosary.

The other, a wooden/metal sign.

The sign reads, "All You Need Is Love"-  

As we were leaving Cabo, I'd receive a text from Kali.  Informing of yet another attack.  

We pray so hard for humans to just live in good health. I mean, isn't that our hardest endeavor?

 To love eachother, without judgement.  And yet, the world doesn't always work out that way.  Same with health.  The impossible would be so perfect possible.

And yet, it doesn't work out that way.  What does work, is the enormous amount of LOVE that pulls together in the storms of life.  Donating blood, services, hugs, love, life. 

Evil can't win.  Love will always win, even when hearts are shattered.  And confused.

I have tons of pictures to share.

Instead of this Monday being about me. Or us.  Let's just spread love. And pray harder for peace in this world. 

The one thing breaking my heart the most- The last text to a family member, frantic, scared and hiding.  And gone.  No more replies.  Gone.

Tell those you love, you love.  Love hard kids.  

Most especially, tell your babies.  Often.  

Love is love. Humanity is humanity. Let your rainbow shine....

Reality.  Monday June 13, 2016- Happy 5th Month Kris!  

Today, we'll venture back to the doctors.  Labs, docs, X-Rays and answers- My list of questions, and answers--

 

 My wish for you is a good peaceful Monday.  Smile at a stranger.  You never know what is going on in their world-

This Mama Lisa

Had a blast with my lover.  We tend to tangle our souls into each other in travel.  And for that I am grateful.

Bill, thank you honey.  For loving me hard.  And always wiping away my silly tears, even in good times.

Because of love. 

Because of life. 

Because of LOVE. 

Thank you Jesus!  

He's still holding onto my wheel!

xoxo

Love Wins

Kristopher --- Jennifer 2015- Baja Mexico

"The Best Thing To Hold Onto In Life Is Eachother"

 

 

I hope you all have a super sweet weekend...

 

Remember to spread kindness, smiles and LOVE-

 

Never take tomorrow for granted-

Lisa Lynn